Something to Mull over
I updated an old thread some time ago on DSL reports, thought I would copy my work over to my blog:
enjoy!
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You raid with these people. You work with these people. These people are closer than your family. You should worry.
The GM - He’s sacrificed his health, friends, and probably a couple of jobs to drag you through new content. When the guild isn’t performing, these decisions are in question. Prone to shooting sprees, forum flame wars, and the rapid advancement/gearing of whatever toon the guild “needs”. If you can keep your mouth shut, he’ll go emo and quit before you get gkicked. Still, you do like the guy. Or did. Before he went crazy. See drunks, below.
The GM (second type) – It’s his guild, his rules, and he has a final say so. He might have a second in command, kind of a fall back, but otherwise, he either is a straight out honest person who will let you know when you do bad (and not nicely) or he will get someone else to do it. Has an Elitist attitude.
The Co-GM – Maybe not as hardcore as the GM, but in a pinch, he makes a good raider. Listens to opinions, but gives little feedback. He does make some major decisions, and always tries to do it on the behalf of the GM. Look for this guy to give you feedback when others aren’t. Overall nice guy (unless the GM is nice, then this guy is an asshole.)
The GM's Significant Other - Okay, so he was going to have to quit but he tricked his SO into playing. She loves it. She's terrible. You'll effectively 24 man every boss. Count on 4 constructs in the raid, every attempt. She plays a Belf. Oh yeah, and she’s the one really in control over guild decisions.
The Raid Leader - When you stand in the flames, he dies a little bit inside. Look for this guy to do the Guild Leader’s dirty work. He WILL call you out in the raid by name and let you know your about to be replaced. After all, it’s his job to make sure raids happen successfully.
The Heir Apparent - When the GM goes psycho, ninjas the bank, and gdisbands, you’re the guy the guild is gonna look to fix the mess. You see it coming. You can't decide if ritual suicide or being the new GM would be more painful.
The Positive Officer - “That was great. Just great. You know, only 5% of guilds have even made it to Agalon, and getting him down to 67% on the second attempt is hawt.” He will blow more smoke up your ass then any other person on the planet, but sometimes, that’s just the trick. See Stoner, Below.
The Negative Officer - “Jesus Christ why are there corpses under all these goddamn volcanoes? It’s Jaraxxas for %@*@s’s sake. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN FLAME!” This guy, makes it a point to let people know when a fuckup occurs and the more often it occurs, the louder and nastier he gets. See Drunks, below.
The Healing Officer - Has this job because, as the newest officer who plays a healer, he’s stuck with it. When a tank dies, he takes the blame for not helping out the healers enough, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get on your case. Has a separate channel for healers, likes to assign them, even if there is only one tank
The Hunter Class Lead - Will tell you that it does actually require skill and preparation to play a hunter well in the end game. Lies frequently.
Metermaid - He's got meters running. Always. Asks for meter postage whenever he's in the top 5, which is rare, as his focus on the meters is preventing him from seeing the volcano he's pathing towards. Pulls aggro. Has yet to realize that 0 health returns 0 dps. If he's healing, you might as well just put him on raid, he's gonna heal them anyway. Will personally whisper you meters when you’re below him. Usually an idiot or an asshat.
Stratman - Has read every strategy on the entire internet for every boss. Unable to think critically. Knows where his talk key is. Hated by the officers. Likely to play a hunter or mage. Also does out of his way to point out people not following the strat, but usually only to officers.
The Gay Guy - Affects the gay accent for effect. Upgrade decisions tend to involve lengthy discussions about gear appearance. Learned to use the dressing room function before the ‘v’key. Links gear and tells people to shift-click it.
The Stay At Home Mom - She’s around children all day and craves adult conversation. Babbles incessantly in vent, forgetting that adult conversation doesn’t usually begin with, “So I was talking to (insert name of four-year-old child) and he says…” Well liked, but frequently muted. Also has an issue with end game raiding, will show up, but won’t be the most promising dps.
Mr. Mikeless - Has a microphone. Hears the conversation and directions. Once wiped the raid because he started talking and most folks alt-tabbed to see who the hell was speaking. May be your best player. Very quiet.
The Kid - So, you messed up on this guy’s interview and nobody noticed that he was 12. But, he can play. And if he gets a little bit excited when boobies are getting talked about? Hey, he’s young. Has some skill when pointed in the right direction.
The Backbone - Plays a tank. Doesn't have much to say. Made an error once in Naxx, or so you heard. Will disconnect when Anub'arak is at 30% and keep aggro while offline for the rest of the fight. Has never said anything negative to the healers. Ever. GL with your progression without one of these. Hates the prima donnas.
The Other Kid - Remember that accountant you interviewed for the fury warrior position? And how you wondered how he’d make time to raid during tax season? He couldn’t. His eleven year old daughter took over about that time. She’s been raiding since. Mages, that’s an eleven year-old girl owning you night after night.
The Hunter Who Doesn't Do His Homework - Always good for insightful commentary and clever observation just after a wipe. "Holy Crap Man! I was just standing and shooting and this damn VOLCANO popped on me! When did they put in those volcanoes?"
The Prophet - Keeps insisting that you are going to need a melee group for ToGC. Badgered the management until they broke. Plays a rogue. Shreds. Loved by the Most Devout.
The Most Devout - This is the guy who gets to play an off-spec in a big-boy raid. He's the fury warrior or the enhance shammy. He cannot believe that some fate is letting him have this much fun that he's afraid it will all come crashing down. Prays devoutly to his favorite deity that the guild won't collapse because he'll never have THIS much fun again. Ever.
The Drunks - The special section of your guild. As raid progresses, their voices in vent are getting just ever so slightly slurred. You don’t notice because you’re trying to sound sober yourself. DPS output seems to scale positively with blood alcohol level.
The Stoners - Quietly wiping raids since the beta. They really, really, really hate having to move out of the fire. Two of them are dead under the volcanoes. They live in fear of the negative officer. They have their own channel. Try /join (insertguildname)stoners. You’ll see who’s in there. It’ll explain a lot. Still, if these guys don't show, bosses don't seem to actually die. They’re also having more fun that everyone else combined.
The Prima Donna - Requires special attention from management. Constantly whining. Plays some vital role. Might be a main tank, off tank, or healer. The officers really hate this guy and as soon as they can find another tank with 50,000 buffed HP, he’s out. Not a stoner.
The Chick with the Accent - Is the accent fake? Nobody knows or cares. Future visits to Australia/Britian/New Zealand/Alabama are now planned by all single raid members. Sometimes can be combines with Vent Prostitute, See Below.
The Healing Pally - Hates healing and had to go holy to see endgame. If you raid with a boomkin, a feral druid, a fury warrior, or any non-resto shaman, you are not getting a 10 minute blessing. Forget it. He hates you. God help you if he has a raid-viable alt in one of those classes; you're not even getting heals. Also, see Prima Donna.
The Departed Legend - You joined after he left. You suspect that he could not actually solo Yogg Saron. But you're not totally sure.
The Disgruntled Raider - Took an unannounced, extended vacation and now has to share his raid spot with the other 11 extra dps. Very angry about this situation. Doesn't realize that ##@#*ing is making things worse. Officers pray for a gquit. Often carries outdated gear he refuses to update.
The Warlock Whisperer - Directionally challenged. Despite having run Ulduar 1.26 million times, will require a summon to General Vezax’s room from the entrance. Has a "summon pls" macro. Strangely, is good at moving away from Void Zones. See (you guessed it) Stoners.
The New Guy - Begins most sentences with, "That's not how we did it in my old guild on Korgath." Likely to remain guilded for approximately one week. You wonder if he'll be telling his next guild, "In my old guild, we ran TOWARDS the volcanoes.”
The Backup - He's the guy waiting in the wings for the raid slot. Totally dependable and plays about 200% better than the guy for whom he's filling in. He's got half the gear and puts out 20% more dps. Totally cool, amazingly competent. You love it when the main can't be there. Could be a secret backbone.
The Buff-less Wonder - Plays a class with group buffs, but "forgets" to bring the necessary reagents. Highly skilled at turning a deaf ear and blind eye to buff assignments. If reminded, will proceed to slowly buff people one by one until someone else is overwhelmed by frustration and does it for them. Has a tendency to overwrite others buffs when choosing incorrectly.
Mr. Pick Me! Pick Me! - This guy is online and ready to raid. Always. Need a prot warrior? He's got one. A holy pally? Check. Problem is, he's really bad. Like bad bad. You keep him in the guild because he's... well, he's always been in the guild. So when your main tank, back up tank, and back up back up tank have vanished Mr. Pick is ready to rock, much to everyone else's horror.
Tootsie - Has a female toon. Claims to be female. Receives many of the benefits that the other females do, people are nice to her; she gets suspiciously good loot. Problem is, she's never posted a picture of herself, and she never talks on Vent. Could she really be a girl? Sure. But who's to know?
The Dumbest Person On The Planet - No one's quite sure exactly what's wrong with this guy, perhaps human evolution really has come to a standstill. Will be the cause of 60% of your wipes until he gets a /gkick. Tell him to spread out and he'll glue himself to a squishy healer. Tell him to avoid something and he'll stand in it till dead, then complain that he didn't get any heals. Ask him to CC the yellow star and he'll pick the orange circle then claim bleeding wounds debuff on his target.
The Obvious Explainer- This guy has read Wowwiki and probably written some of it. He will stop the raid for 15 minutes before each fight to explain to all the new people (of which there are none) that this guy might produce ground fire once in a while or that the hunter adds might shoot arrows. He'll warn that the boss can hit hard, tell everyone to avoid damage, and remind the healers that they need to keep the tanks alive.
Hair Trigger - He means well. Really, he does. Most of the time, he's likable, knows how to play his class, shows up on time, well prepared, and ready to work hard. He knows the strats, knows his role, and 75% of the time is a pleasure to have in the raid. Unfortunately, he's also got a very short fuse, and if something goes wrong or somebody screws up, he'll set off with enough RAGE to keep your Warriors happy for a week. "How the hell could you screw that up?" "Don't you know what the hell you're doing?" "Jesus Christ, could you please NOT suck next time? Can we get somebody goddamn competent in here, dammit?" Causes a good share of drama, frequently butts heads with the officers (especially the Negative Officer), and prone to /gquitting in a fit of anger before simmering down and humbly requesting a re-invite.
The Undergeared Slacker - This is the player who, for whatever reason, will only put out 33% of the DPS or healing of any other player with the same role. While not being AFK. This player is also likely to roll or spend DKP on the worst possible items for his/her class or role. You would love to drop him from the raid, but you don't have enough bodies to do so.
The Douche - He knows his class, knows the game, and always shows up to raids, but generally unpleasant and often rubs his guildmates the wrong way. If you ask him to do something he doesn't want to do (heal as a priest/drood/shammy/pally instead of DPS, tank as a warrior instead of DPS, kite as a hunter instead of... DPS) he'll do it, but he'll complain endlessly the entire time and opt out the first chance he gets. He'll bid on minor upgrades even when someone else could use it more, but hey, he's got the DKP, and the raid doesn't want to lose him because he's a good player. Every guild has one, you know who it is--if you don't, you may BE one. Often from New York, New Jersey, or Quebec.
My Glass Is Half Full - He's a decent player, but above all else he brings to the raid endless optimism. "Don't worry guys, good job, we learned a lot!" "We'll get him next time, we're doing better and better!" "We're definitely going to down this guy tonight." If there's any conflict or argument, he'll try and step in with a quick "Let's not argue, guys! Stay focused and we can do this!" He's a nice guy and means well, but the officers keep him muted on Vent half the time just because his encouragement gets in the way of strategy.
Pointdexter - He has the game down to a science. He may be a 40-year-old accountant with the free time of a 15-year-old student, or a 15-year-old student with the focus of a 40-year-old accountant. Drools over spreadsheets, calculates the group's overall DPS and efficiency and how it can be improved down to the smallest stat bonus. Spends his days on WorldofRaids and the Elitist Jerks forums looking at all the numbercrunching and posts everything on your own guild forums. Certainly an asset to the raid, but damn he needs a hobby.
The Terminal Virgin - Excessively vulgar, passive/aggressive. Has a slang term for the female genitalia for every letter of the alphabet, but has never actually seen one.
The Avatar - He's been in your guild since before you can remember and you've seen him raid maybe twice, but for some reason, this guy outgears the rest of your guildies by a tier. If you're in Udluar, he's wearing gear from ToC. If you're in ToC, he's got gear from ToGC. If you're attempting ToGC there are no more upgrades for him in the game. He'll hit 15% of your total raid dps in a 25 man instance, or heal your main tank without dropping below 70% mana. And he'll let you know how bored he is the entire time.
The Baggage - He's not bad per se, but he isn't good. The only reason he's still getting raid invites is because some vital raid member refuses to raid without him. Maybe he's family, maybe he's just a friend, but it's not his leet dps that you drag him along for. Usually knows he has a guaranteed slot because of his connections, and feels free to use that at every opportunity.
The Kid With ADHD - Night elf hunter or undead rogue. This kid is spastic, while the raid is drinking, he's jumping around like a moron, running in circles, and setting off fireworks. If that wasn't bad enough, he's on vent complaining that the raid isn't moving fast enough, even though he's not prepared for the next pull either. All of that might be tolerable if his constant antics didn't also involve falling into the lava and aggroing every mob in a 100 yard range.
Vent Prostitute - This is the girl that wants the raid to know she has boobs, a nice butt and loves sex. She will shamelessly tell you how anything demure turns her on, and will occasionally moan in vent. Don't be fooled ... she knows what kind of power this gets her; after all she needs to level the playing field when Girl with the accent is online. She often will find online boyfriends to be a time killing fling.
Mr. Mumbles - Loves to talk on vent, but is constantly asked what he just said. This can be caused by several reasons - broken mic, bad accent, or just mumbly. Almost always has something important to say - too bad you'll never hear it.
The Jackass Entertainer - Mouthy comments and random song follow this raider around. Usually contains his bullcrap to the space between wipes, but has upon occasion caused a hiccup in the progression due to a poorly timed joke nearly wiping the raid. Talks during boss encounters while dpsing.
Mr(s). Worthless - The one or two people you have to take sometimes because you're short on people. They are as geared and talent-specced like others in the raid, yet their numbers don't come close to others. Most of these are hunters or rogues, although that shadow priest or warlock fits that bill. They leave you scratching your heads on how the **** their numbers are so bad, vowing not to take them again until they improve...until next week you need them again.
Mr. 4Chan/Ytmnd/WoW.com Forums - Thinks every internet fad they've ever seen or heard about is the most hilarious thing in the universe, and has to share it with the raid. He has a massive amount of internet knowledge, has millions of pictures, and can bring up any oft-repeated phrase for hours at a time for no reason. Going from ' no wai ' to ' naga stole my [arcanite reaper] ' to ' [perdition's blade] GOES HERE D: ' golemagg doesn't change facial expressions!, ' he's sometimes funny, but the humor wears thin the 90th time you've said a raid command in /rs and he's /yell'd back, ' O RLY? '
Mr. STFU - This is the guy who believes he is funny but simply isn't. Even his voice is annoying, like nails on a chalkboard. Or he is the one with the most God-awful laugh you've ever heard who is always laughing. The problem is some of these people can't be muted because most of the time they actually contribute viable information. These are the people you whisper to other people in the raid, "He sounds like a baying donkey who's been kicked in the nads" or "Oh for the love of Christ shut him up".
The Over-Analyzer - Even if this person does top damage and dps in the raid, he is convinced he can do better or that the guild could do better. He is nearly impossible to make happy, and frequently is self-absorbed about himself in general. He is generally a really good player, but he is convinced that no matter what, anything could be better then whatever he just did/the raid just did.
The Perv - Takes anything and everything said and twists it into an innuendo, some more subtle than others. His mind resides firmly in the gutter and what few minds weren't there before he spoke create an almost audible splash when they hit it and hit it hard. Source of much entertainment, especially late at night or when drunk, as long as he doesn't carry things too far. Keep away from the Kid and the Other Kid or you may lose them to parental aggro.
Junkie- The one who perpetually raids while under the influence of half a bottle or more of Nyquil or some equally intoxicating cough syrup/pill. ALWAYS slacks on trash, all the while laughing to themselves for no reason with eyes half open. Always #1-2 on dps on bosses, but bottom 15 on trash dps. A fucked up flipper baby of The Stoners and The Drunks. Also, much like The Stoners, always has WAY more fun than other people in the raid even though they have no idea what's going on.
The Armor Thief - This person is in agreement with the officers that some pieces are better for his "spec" than pieces from his actual armor type. It's a shame he didn't talk to anyone who actually played the class, or he might actually not be pissing them off AND might actually not be at the bottom of the charts. Frequently a Druid, Paladin, or Warrior.
The Other Armor Thief - This person is not in agreement with anyone that he will take anything designed for his armor type, even if someone else sees it as an upgrade. Simply put, if he doesn't have it, and it's his armor type, he wants it, even if it's not an upgrade or intended for a different spec.
The Casual – Not a really well geared player…not the best spec either, but is always on, and though he doesn’t care if he makes it into the raid or not, he won’t get upset by it. Likes to run old content, believes that he could get better, just doesn’t want to work at it. Also has a habit of not rolling on any gear until it is about to be destroyed, then will take it because everyone else passed.
The Passive – Will listen to anyone’s thoughts, but have nothing to say for or against it. Not the person to ask for ideas, and when it comes time to raid, stays quiet, does his job, and calls it a night. Never seen upset…or happy for that matter.
The Opinionator - Makes it a point to voice his thoughts in response to anything anyone else says, or thinks. If the raid leader is trying to make a point about a wipe, the opinionator is backing him up 100% with the words, “yes” and “correct.” Likes to follow up with, “Here is what I’m thinking,” and “I think it would be best if we…” Also likes to talk about who should really get the gear despite dkp bids. Whispers people if no one is responding in /g chat or vent about his thoughts and their responses. Follows the annoying.
The Dedicated - Has two of every class at 80, horde and alliance. Has a bankroll (gold) that rivals most millionaires. Might be second best in every slot, but knows how to play every class really well, and usually isn't proven wrong unless he does it to himself, but never admits he's at fault. Also on 24/7 unless he finds a job...not likely.
Captain Lags-a-lot - The boss mgiht have died 60 seconds ago, but not for this guy, he's still deep into rotation and thinks the win is close. Great guy, 2k latency though. And usually can't change the situation unless he turns off his p2p client...which even then, doesn't help. Look for this guy to die in fires, not by choice, but only because he won't see it until it's too late.
The Experimentor - Thinks he is on to something about his class. As a holy pally, he might be aiming for haste over crit, or as a dps, leather over plate. He could be right, or completely wrong, but still, it's fun to see the whole process. Could be a secret Prodigy.
The Unreliable Raider - Outgears and out-dps's 90% of your regulars, knows all the fights (despite lacking all the achievements), and makes every boss seem 50% easier because he is kiting/dpsing the adds without being told, giving the tank helpful tips, or just rocking the meters. Passes on most loot as what he has is better. Unfortunately, he comes up with obviously fake excuses for bugging out early, or not showing up at all. Whether it's his RL schedule or he'd rather grind rep in the Outlands instead of raiding ToGC, he's never consistent. You'd love to remove him from the roster completely, but the times he actually shows up and stays, he's golden.
Been a while
So, I forgot I had a blog...forgive me, something about raiding and time away
Made me get old, so here's my return to a new youthful poster
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In my epic time away, I joined the second best guild on my server, Checkmate, and so far, it's been awesome. I've also spent time with my girlfriend, worked my ass off at work (kind of) and seen a dozen movies.
Since, I owe it to everyone, here's a cool post I have come across:
From official WoW forums fyi...
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"Lord Arthas," Kel'thuzad shrilled on his way to the peak of the Frozen Throne. "Naxxramas has fallen! So, too, the bowels of Ulduar!"
The Lich King's mind stirred, but his body did not. He was situated on a slab of ice, clutched tightly by a series of jagged, icy spikes. "Bowels?" asked the Lich King, whose booming telepathic voice could only be heard by his servants.
Kel'thuzad stopped and floated in front of the Lich King. "There must have been thousands of them--" Kel'thuzad's chilly wheeze, visible in these temperatures, got swept away by the Frozen Throne's furious winds. "Alliance and Horde alike--all of them, working together!"
A vile mist of frost emerged from the holes in the Lich King's helmet.
The chains holding Kel'thuzad's robes together rattled nervously. "They stormed in without warning, My Lord--"
The Lich King rose. Pillars of ice shattered around him in his wake.
Kel'thuzad cowered and shielded his head with his skeletal hands. "An army of gryphons, bats, and drakes the color of blood!!"
"ALEXSTRASZA?!" the Lich King roared. The Frozen Throne shuddered.
"There is no question, My Lord! She aided them in conquering Malygos, and defeating Sartharion in the Obsidian Sanctum! --Even the God of Death, Yogg-Saron, was vanquished by their efforts!"
The Lich King raised his hand in anger at Kel'thuzad. "Kel'thuzad, you allow but insects to invade your necropolis? To befriend the Aspects, to conquer my Lieuten--" The Lich King blinked, suddenly grabbed his own chin, and looked down. "Wait, did you say 'God of Death'"?
Kel'thuzad peeked through his finger bones. "Yes, My Lord. Yogg-Saron, the God of Death."
"..."
"My Lord?"
"How, exactly, do you go about killing a God of Death?" the Lich King asked. He turned around, looked up at the blizzard in the sky, and wondered.
".. well, uh, I assume you.. kill it, My Lord. With fire. Or a large sword."
"--And, on that note, how exactly are you still alive, Kel'thuzad?" The Lich King looked over his dented, frostbitten spaulders at Kel'thuzad.
"Well, I'm not, My Lord. I'm dead. I'm a lich."
"Then how is Naxxramas fallen? Why didn't you fight the Alliance and Horde?"
"I did. They killed me."
The Lich King glared at Kel'thuzad.
"I mean, I try to defend the necropolis every week, but they just keep coming back," Kel'thuzad defended.
"So let me get this straight." The Lich King brushed a human tooth off of his ice slab. "You, who are dead, are killed every week."
"By the undead," Kel'thuzad injected.
"What?"
"Well, you see, they have Death Knights now. --And sometimes a few Forsaken show up."
"So the undead kill you every week, who is dead, so that you die, and then you.. come back to life every week so that they--"
"I come back to death every week."
"Right. You come back to death every week so that the undead can kill you again. And then they go ahead and--why not?--kill the God of Death."
"That's about the gist of it, My Lord."
"Kel," the Lich King said in a softer voice. He appeared to be admiring a snowflake that had gotten impaled on a nearby ice spike.
Kel'thuzad looked left, and then he looked right. He cleared his throat, but his lich voice remained as raspy as ever. "Yes, My Lord?"
"Do you ever wonder if we're actually just data in a computer? --Hell, we could all be characters in someone's MMORPG!"
"You mean like The Matrix, My Lord?"
"I guess."
"I highly doubt we're characters in an MMORPG, My Lord."
The Lich King dragged his gloved fingers across the side of his helmet. "I mean--sometimes it just feels like I'm ineffective, you know? I set up a necropolis in the sky. Suddenly everyone has a flying mount. I show up in that super hard quest in Borean Tundra--you know, the one with--"
"Yeah, I know the one," Kel'thuzad replied with a quick nod. "The one where the damage gets reflected back at you. Very original."
"Epic, too. Did you hear my voice acting?"
"Completely on par."
"Yeah." The Lich King touched the snowflake with his fingertip. The snowflake shivered and fell apart. "Yogg-Saron and I--we set up that fool-proof hole in Ulduar. How were we supposed to know that Kologarn is the only enemy in the game that doesn't despawn?!"
Kel'thuzad stiffened.
"And I was talking to Anub'arak the other day. He had this great idea; we could kill those pesky mages that are holding up Dalaran. Can you imagine? During peak times?!" The Lich King cackled and turned around. His grin was hardly visible beneath his helmet. "The whole place would come crashing down! Do you have any idea how much DEATH and DESTRU--"
Game.
Kologarn is the only enemy
enemy in the game
game that doesn't
doesn't
The Lich King gasped.
game
Kel'thuzad strafed to the side.
game
"You--" The Lich King lost his breath. The water in his eyes caused the ice on his eyelashes to sizzle.
That's a terrible idea, Lich King. It would never work.
Crash Dalaran? What good would that do? Let's terrorize the Argent Tournament instead!
Hey, Lich King! Let's go gargoyle tipping! Hahaha!
The Lich King's voice deteriorated into a whisper. He stared at Kel'thuzad. "You knew. All along, you--"
"You were never supposed to know, Arthas," Kel'thuzad said. "But it's too late now." Kel'thuzad, who had been staring off into the distance, finally made eye contact with the Lich King. "You dug too deep." Kel'thuzad ripped the miter off of his head.
The Lich King's heart--which had suddenly returned--skipped a beat.
Kel'thuzad tossed his staff aside. It broke in two when it collided with the icy floor, and the gigantic jewel at its end shattered into a thousand brilliant pieces. Kel'thuzad peeled his mustache off, and then he peeled his body off, revealing--
The Lich King's eyes widened. "Z--!!"
Zarhym. Zarhym stood before the Lich King, in all of his floating skull glory. --And Zarhym cackled. He cackled long, and he cackled hard. The insane laughter literally tore the Lich King's helmet apart. Arthas, free from the helmet's grip, fell to the floor and screamed.
Kalgan emerged from the haze of ice behind Arthas. His eyes were dark, but his smirk was darker. "You did your best, Zarhym--" He looked over at Zarhym. "--but, as usual, your best wasn't good enough. Please return to your necropolis and try to actually accomplish something for once."
"Yes, My Lord!" Zarhym hissed. "My apologies, My Lord! I will inform the playerbase that we currently have a Paid Class Change feature in the works at once!" Zarhym floated away hastily.
"Yes, Arthas, you were a great villain," Kalgan continued as he stared down at the poor soul. "Perhaps too great. You--" Kalgan glared down at something that was sneaking around in the broken pieces of the Lich King's helmet. Was that-- Was that a crab?! "GHOSTCRAWLER?!"
"Err--" Ghostcrawler hesitated. He skittered around, grabbed a chunk of Lich King helmet, and put it over his crab head like a hat. Because it was a hat, technically. I mean, moments ago, it had been a helmet. But just imagine a crab wearing the entire Lich King helmet. I mean, come on. That would be ridiculous.
"Were you hiding in that Lich King helmet, Ghostcrawler?!" Kalgan asked--loudly.
"No, Sir! I was.. working on those Elemental Shaman changes, Sir! You know the ones!!"
Kalgan put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot.
"Yes, Sir! Applying those changes right now, Sir!" Ghostcrawler skittered away.
"Now, where was I?" Kalgan looked around, settled his eyes back on Arthas, and cleared his throat. "Ah, yes. --You were able to realize the truth, weren't you?! That you are nothing more than a character in a video game. What a pity." Kalgan walked around Arthas and chuckled.
"You--" Arthas tried to speak between his own retching and hacking. Black sludge--the will of the Lich King--was pouring out of his mouth. "You won't get away with this!! There's no way-- I'm Arthas Menethil! I am the Lich King! What will the fans say?! You can't replace me! I'm better than Sephiroth, for god's sakes!!"
"Oh, can't we now?" a familiar voice called out from beyond the haze.
A chill ran down Arthas' spine.
Chris Metzen stopped beside Kalgan.
"NO!" Arthas cried.
"One little retcon is all it would take," Chris said with a smile. "In fact, we've got one lined up already..."
Chris and Kalgan turned around to face something. Arthas struggled to roll himself onto his back, so that he could see what they were looking at. His blackened, frozen lips trembled. A shadow--a silhouette; a flare. Something with spikes. Something growing. Tears, hotter than Hell, finally gushed out of Arthas' eyes.
The silhouette flipped its hair.
"Magister's Terrace was merely a setback!"
mind as well advise to myself
Whew...all this blogging, is fun, but I don't think for a minute I've talked about myself at all, but then again, what's the real purpose of a blog if I hold out blogging on whatever comes to mind...oh wait...wiki beats me to it:
-Many blogs provide commentary or news on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries.-
Well now...mind as well hit the personal side for a couple minutes, since my brain wants to write some more about World of Warcraft...which can be a very time consuming game, AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!
So, about me (guess I'll fill out that -about me- section in my dashboard), I am 23...with a killer appetite for gaming and my girlfriend, which seem to be the most two important aspects of life anyway, I love to play RPGs, along with MMOs (actually just WoW for me thanks) and like to spend time harassing my girlfriend for many things (some naughty) including getting her to stop playing WoW long enough to see me do a dance when I win new gear (though she might get jealous since we share tier -- me<-holy pally, her<-disc priest).
I like to party too, like go to parties, drink booze and BS with everyone there. Every week me and some guys gather for some Dungeons and Dragons or Shadowrun depending on the weeks (alternate between em). I actually got my girlfriend to GM DnD, which she has twice before, to my dismay of losing a swordmage the second time around. Shadowrun is run by a guy named Juels, nice guy too. I used to run a Legend of Five Rings campaign, but decided to take a break recently, as a player one-shotted my campaign villain at rank 1...woot.
I do work (shocking as it may be) for the government, answering calls on a third shift where people often call, forgetting their password for applications or losing the slip of paper everything was written down on (yes these people protect us). I love my job, a little boring, but hell, what doesn't get boring after a couple years? It's stable, and for this economy, I will stick to my guns and ride it out.
...I could say I like music, but going to concerts and having two Ipods (a 8gb touch and 80g gen[whatever's the most recent]) and usually stream music 24/7...but that might be an understatement...
No, I can't draw, even if it was to save my life, but if it comes to a conversation about debate, I can chime in with usually something relevant to the situation (most of the time, it's about the subject and how porn might fit in) but who cares right? Some dude who's randomly blogging on the Internet posts what he is thinking about, can't say people avoid it though, seems to be the hot thing to do these days.
I have a myspace that's outdated, a facebook which I logged into once, and a Twitter, cause it's not blocked at work (woot, thank you websense). I went to school for networking and programming, but never got a degree because I'm lazy and like to kill time doing nothing important, instead of attempting to better myself (other then I stopped drinking soda, maybe lose a couple pounds)
I like my life as it is, for some reason, contentment hit my with a wooden bat that makes me okay with how everything is, though some of it I might not agree with, I can't change human actions other then my own, and hope maybe other people catch on.
No, I do not have a religion, though I was talking with a friend at work about the whole thing, and we came to the conclusion that you don't need to have a religion to believe in something or have faith in another, which is fine by me.
I have gaming consoles, but usually avoid them, as I can't download the games I want, so my brother plays more then me (and he is only partial toward the gaming world). That doesn't mean I'm not a gamer, I am by all means, and play ever new PC game i can get my hands on, which ends in disappointment more often then not (though some recent ones are pretty fun with wicked graphics). I like tabletop games, have dabbled in MTG over the years, going to States twice (but usually only play a few tournies a year).
I am a Scifi guy, who likes watching the Scifi channel (or SyFy or whatever its called) and likes competing shows like Hell's Kitchen and Chopped...I like cooking and watching cooking shows (though it might interrupt my raid a bit, as i tend to AFK more then others, but make up for it with mad skillz), and naturally I like anime, and manga, though my girlfriend seems to like it more then me (I'm glad too, means I'm not the dork of the relationship...oh yeah, she plays WoW more then me, but only because I work more then her).
Anything else? Yeah, nothing I can't write about later...maybe I'll do a column of this once per week, just to help out a bit, so I can learn a little about myself too
-pwrtoppl <---- me :)
out
We all had to level to 80 at some point, and though it might have been easy, or hard (depending on characters leveled, time spent learning the game), when someone hits 80, they have to gear up their character, based on how far someone plans to go in endgame content, or what their mainly interested in (PvP or PvE). But, the course remains the same, gearing up from a fresh 80, to a competent raider, pvp'er, or even the casual who likes heroics and just killing time in game.
With that nice sweet into, let's jump in!
Hitting 80
Long after you've pushed through 80 levels of content, gotten that final leveling achievement, and looked back at your current equipped gear, the time now has come to make a critical choice:
-To be a PvP'er, or Raider? Or both?
When you usually choose a path, it makes the difference of where you'll spend most of your time while your 80. Going the route of the PvP'er means you'll be shooting for Resilience and high stamina gear, while going the route of a Raider, means you'll go for class specific gear, with no Resilience but better overall rounded stats made to endure the PvE aspect of the game.
Raiding means...
Time spent in Heroics are the fastest way to go to get gear to see higher endgame content. Heroics will start most players off in the right direction of what type of gear to look for that is best for their class. While this might not be the chosen route for players with multiple 80's and have the BOE's (bind on equip gear) ready, Heroics can open the doors into instances available for raiding. Naxxramas, Vault of Archavon, Eye of Eternity, and Obsidian Sanctum all couple perfectly with gear levels around and slightly better then Heroic gear. All offer some gear for most other classes and can aid in quickly gearing someone for higher endgame content. By running these raids on the 10 man versions, you can quickly learn some great raid awareness skills and walk out with multiple pieces of decent raiding gear. 25 man versions of the above listed raids have bosses with more health and damage output, have better reward gear, and require...yes you guessed it, 25 people (give or take a few). By running the 25 mans versions, you can get some better gear, and learn about working with 24 other people besides yourself. The real goal of gearing up is to unlock current contents such as Ulduar and Trails of the Crusader, which both offer massive gear upgrades and can allow you to be ready for any new content that comes out afterward. Raiders going this path have a long way to start out, but can quickly become an effective raid member. And do not forget to spend badges collected from running PvE content, you can trade them in for gear upgrades that fit most classes pretty well.
PvP, the other white meat...
PvP is a different set of endgame content rewarding a different set of gear. Instead of spending time in Heroics, you go to battlegrounds, where you compete alongside and against other players to the death over different objectives (depending on the battleground) for honor. Honor, is a currency used to trade in for gear that gives good resilience, stamina, and can be coupled together with other PvP gear for bonuses. By running weekly Wintergrasp, and doing Daily battleground quests, in addition to participating in battleground weekends (weekends that change every week that reward more honor in the selected battleground) you can gain a large amount of honor in a short time, giving you good battleground gear. But what about weapons? Or even better armor, like that of raiding gear equivalent, but only for PvP gear? Fear not PvP'er, Arenas help out here. Arenas a smaller battlegrounds with one purpose, killing the other team in a selected match up by current arena ranking that rises and falls by victories and loses. Arenas come in 2v2, 3v3, and 5v5, where each one hands out Arena points per week depending on the number of wins. These points, along with Honor, can reward top end PvP gear, including weapons, made just for Player versus Player combat.
Ending on a good note
Doing one or the other does not mean you can't mix it up and do both though, it just means you might have your dual talent specs setup so one you can raid with and one you can PvP with, and there is nothing wrong with that. Also, it couldn't hurt to carry two different sets of gear for when you go back and forth, so you don't use a bad stat such as Resilience in a raid, people often look down on you for that. In conclusion, pick what you want to go for, and give it a try, worst case, you can do the other and come back to your main pick when you think you are ready for it.
-pwrtoppl
-out
Who doesn't dread entering a battleground (aka BG) and being called a nub (newbie, n00b...take your poison). Nothing beats the fresh scent of scattered player corpses littered on the battlefield with spells crackling off in the distance and 20-80 players running around like their head was removed with a meat cleaver. But going in blind into a BG can be daunting, unless you are ready (or have been there before). So, let me open up on some BG tactic know-hows, what to dress in, and what to bring to the party.
First off, #1 most important factor, is your survivability...can you take a player, or two, or three all chopping as you attempt to defend yourself? If not, consider a stat on your defense tab on your character sheet titled resilence. It shows the chance removed that you have to be critically hit by another player, and how much damage less you take from damage and critical hits. This is important, because in a game where damage trumps defense, having even a little means you can go all out without worry about your current health status (unless your a healer, then run to a DPSer). By stacking resilence, you take less damage overall, and have a chance less to be crit (which is more damage done to your head by a single hit). Healers need this stat stacked a bit more, only because people like to target healers and go after them first (most of the time). Your Resilence can be stacked from gear you get by trading in honor or marks from certain battlegrounds.
Secondly...watch your surroundings (yes, it isn't just a raid thing) because there are people who come at you from behind or stealth to you. By keeping an eye on the rogue stealthing 80 yards out, you can bet chances are, he's headed to you with intentions to stab you until you die. By watching that rogue stealth, you can drop some aoe (area of effect) effect that will break his stealth, ruining his opening attacks and leveling the field (at that point, go all out). By knowing that a group of players is forming off in the distance to take over your spot (either because you are guarding a flag or holding a base), you can call out for inc (incoming) to your spot, and though you might not live, you will have helped out your BG by preventing a base from being taken over without anyone knowing (other then the warning on the screen when it is too late). Sometimes hiding nearby before the other faction shows up and by attacking when more players come to assist you can mean the difference between a failed defense or successful pushback.
Third, communication. /bg is the best way to let people know where you are headed, where is under attack, or what the plan is for the next strike at a flag or base. Being quiet in BG chat does not mean people can focus, not unlike raids at all, but can instead let others know the situation of areas they currently are not around. Let people know what's going on, and the scrub title...will disappear.
Fourth, Grouping is key here. Don't go Clint Eastwood on people and run into a group of enemies, guns blazing...it does not work that way. Instead, go with two or more people so your survival efforts aren't lost on a 1 v 10 scene where your guns don't fire because your stunlocked from multiple people. When you get 1200 resilence, and have a top end PvP (player versus player) weapon...then you can attempt the Clint Eastwood scene, but chances are, you'll still get rolled, it'll just take them longer to kill you. Group, and you and your fellow BGers will live long happy 60 second lives.
Fifth, though important, is speccing (using those talents for purpose). PvP specs look much much different then raiding specs, and have increased player survivability and talents that reduce time spent snared, stunned, feared, and so forth. Speccing your classes pvp specs don't take long and pay off in the end.
And Sixth (only because it seems relavent to end with), learn to play your class against other players. Knowing which buttons and cooldown's to pop when will keep you alive and help out the friendly nations when the guns go blazing...learn to play before you go in, and people won't tell you that in the BG (which will come out in a much more angered tone).
So, Resilence, Watching your back, Communicating, Grouping, Speccing, and Learning to play will keep your new shiney PvP toon alive long enough to get smeared against the other pros without them letting you know how new you really are to the whole thing. I'm not saying you can be a master overnight, there will be many a death before you get the swing of things, but I thought giving some basics wouldn't hurt anyone.
And for the second time tonight
-pwrtoppl
-out
New content is just around the corner, and most of the time, it means guilds that raid have one of two options, gear up the masses or play favorites, both have their ups and downs. For starters, gearing up the masses means going in on 10/25 man groups and rotate new people in every week to see the fights, get some gear, and overall enjoy the new experience. Playing a set group on the other hand, means leaving out a majority of a guild so a select few can progress content as quickly as possible without losing time to teaching others the fight, or gearing them for the newer content.
When you take a guild of a couple hundred members, and decide to rotate them into the new content, you give everyone the chance to learn new fights, win new gear, and overall work as a guild to progress into new content. Some people may come around for a second or third trip, or just make a regular appearence (such as tanks and healers or really solid DPSers), but that core plus new people means more people are working together and even those who would be left out in the cold get a chance to try the newer content.
The downside to running more people, or rotating people for newer ones (or returning) is you face a difficult sense of unity between current raiders as fewer will know their set roles (MT, OT, MT healer, Raid healer etc). That issue can mean people will have a harder time worker together or play favorities by bringing back people they feel comfortable with raiding. While it can be a plus to gear up multiple people, the times that they aren't raiding means that their new gear, and increased stats won't contribute to progressing the raid any further then they had already cleared the time before.
If you decide to take the smaller path, with less memebers but a set group, you can clear content faster as you won't have to teach new people the fights or attempt to gear as many people. Those select few will learn the fights in less time, because the fewer explanations per attempt will lead to that group worrying less about who plays what role that night, which leads into that group gearing those players quicker, and in return, hoping to clear the content. By those few working together and getting to know one another's tactics, your group can move more fluidly through different areas.
The downside to choosing a select few and keeping them in the same group every week is, it becomes clear favorities are picked because of their ability to work together, raid awareness level, current gear, attitude of raiding, or some other factor that makes them worthwhile to be in the group. This means many other guild members must sit out week after week until the content is cleared and becomes open to group swapping, where they can switch one or two people per week so they can finally get gear/see fights.
In order to offset these drawbacks for both groups, is to run, multiple 10 man groups, and a 25 man group, so alot of people can see the content/get geared etc. By having multiple 10 man groups, people can still play favorites with the raiders they choose to work with, but can also gear up many more people in the guild, which can also account toward 25 mans, where multiple people from both groups can still have the chance to raid together without swapping out members. But say there are still people waiting for those 10 man groups, either because they cannot consistanly raid or just don't seem to work well with others, the best way to go is, gather them in a group, and let them have at the content. Just make sure they understand, no matter who raids in what groups, that some favortisim might be applied as the "group 1" might be clearing futher then others in the content in question.
Other then that, make it'll always be hard to make sure everyone is happy, so just shoot for gold and work with anyone who understands the bonuses and consequences of both sides.
With that note
-pwrtoppl is out
Meter maids...they happen. They are the jelly of the pbj sandwhich...they are the sweet stuff that brings together the tanks (bread) and healers (peanut butter). DPS in world of warcraft is what kills a boss, and, with a good amount of DPS, you can clear an instance within a feasible amount of time...because, without it, bosses hit enrage timers, and things just take much much longer.
With DPS comes the competition though. Ever see UFC? Where two guys go at it for fame, glory and blood? Sure, to the victor go the spoils. DPS is a competitive thing, not only because it seperates those who know their class from those who REALLY know their class, but it shows who is really doing what. And what a better way to track that then an addon just for situations like that?
Recount is an addon that can track a multitude of things, from the number of interrupts performed in an encounter, to healing done overall, to even the damage taken per person (tanks usually get the top here). But the sweet stuff, the most viewed and talked about option in Recount...is the DPS.Recount records DPS in several useful ways. First off, it records who is performing what attacks, combinations, number of times an ability is used in a fight, and several other interesting features including how often an ability crits. The Second part, and sometimes the most annoying, but also useful, is the damage per second (or damage overall depending on the category) raiting. So, if person X is doing really good damage to a boss, he might indeed be at the top of the charts. Below him, will be person Y, A, and B will be at the bottom.Here's the usefulness of DPS (or overall damage done) part of Recount:- shows whos undergeared by stating low damage done per attack
- shows whos missing attacks in a rotation (might lead to the person needing to learn how to play their class)
- it shows (per person under their abilties) crits and hits per number of attacks per boss, including misses, glances (partial damage), dodges, blocks, and parries
Overall...its a useful thing. Recount can track everyone in the raid with a 1% difference per meter from person to person (some might show a tiny bit more then someone else's meter)
Here's where the usefulness drops off --- spamming the meter in raid chat everytime someone does top 3 or so on a boss. The worst part, is sometimes, people don't see that person do their usual post if their not in the top...almost as if they feel shamed for not contributing to the raid. But that's the thing, they are helping, and even though they might not take the top, they still killed the boss, moving the raid along. And people have forgotten those roots.
In terms, it is indeed a damage race to kill a boss before he enrages, gaining something like a 500% bonus to damage and 150% bonus to attack speed. But people now take it too far, and race against themselves, to the point where they might fight over who plays what role during some boss encounters, where not everyone can just stand in place and DPS a boss to death. And it's during those times that posting a raid meter doesn't show who is helping the raid overall but dpsing a contruct during Ignis, or who is interrupting the bosses during Iron Council. Overall though, it can be fun to post when people get to stand and DPS a boss like Patchwerk, where only the healers and tanks dont participate on the DPS meters.
Recount also doesn't show DPS loss when a player is temporary unavailable to DPS the boss, though his DoTs, or Damage over Time effects still tick, thus reducing his overall damage. This is shown on some fights like Ignis, inside the slag pot, or even Kologram, where he grabs random people, leaving DoTs to tick with no other damage being applied.
Overall though, Recount is an exceptional addon that can show so much that isn't seen, but can also become annoying when used improperly. It can be both a helpful addon that can be used to reviews players in fights, or a spam method to show who "dedicates" themselves to the boss. So for all the DPS out there, no one really cares about your overall DPS, or how much you do, the boss still dies, and we all move on together, if you must post the meter, whisper it to someone else, don't bother the rest of the raid with your great lifetime accomplishment.
-pwrtoppl
-out
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